Contributed by Heidi Kistler
Within weeks of retiring I left “my familiar”, my heart and soul connections and diverse life in New York and moved to Florida. Not only did I feel uprooted, parched and threatened by hurricanes, I felt emotionally and spiritually adrift, undone.
I hated Florida; it was that simple. Then, after months of moaning and complaining to anyone who would listen, I realized that these lamentations could easily continue for years, making myself and others miserable – unless I did something about them.
I gave myself a year to “adjust” and learn to accept, not necessarily embrace, my new life and to look at this new chapter as an adventure, as an opportunity for growth. If that did not work, I would leave, husband included.
I started by becoming aware of my many negative thoughts and replacing them with the next best thought. When that did not work, I’d scan the immediate environment and search for something pleasing, whether clouds, the color of a flower, the comfort of my home. Gradually, more positive thoughts and reactions entered my stream of consciousness. When I heard myself complaining, I would stop immediately, saying, “Stop it. Look around; you are so blessed.
It took a while. With the gradual change of attitude, I became more open to opportunities. I discovered and pursued social, spiritual and communal interests which eventually developed into meaningful and satisfying relationships.
Nearly six years later, much of my heart is still in NY, but I have learned to bloom where I am planted…my garden is a witness to that.
What do you think?
- When confronted with dramatic changes, what tools have you used to adjust or to deal with life’s events?
- How do you handle persistent negative thoughts?
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6 comments
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April 16, 2010 at 4:04 pm
Fran Sadoff-LeBow
I love your analogies and inspirational enouragement to be in the moment and grasp the opportunities available at the time. Sometimes hearing the same thing from another person or another perspective is exactly what is needed to help you move on and grow where you are. Well written and certainly a motivational piece to aid in continuosly challenging yourself to bloom while staying rooted!!
April 16, 2010 at 4:03 pm
deena scherer
I think you are a very wise woman. I got alot of encourgement from your post and will go bravely forward toward more positive thinking. I absolutley love the title. You should write a book!
April 16, 2010 at 4:00 pm
sheri hecht
What a beutiful way to “adjust”. It is not easy to adjust to another life and enviornment, kuddos to yo for being able to figure out how to do it in such a possive way. It isn’t easy to get in touch with your feelings and know how to deal with them and others at the same time.
April 16, 2010 at 3:58 pm
Jodi
Great advise. Three years ago I moved to Ormond Beach. It was a great job opportunity when I needed one desperately (emotionally and financially) but it meant leaving my son, my friends and 22 years of comfort. I had a great life…except the job.
Wonderful friends helped me to seize the opportunity and make the move. But 1 friend in particular gave the best advise. Steve Goldberg told me if I made the move I had to live the moments in Ormond Beach and not spend my time worrying, wanting, and wishing the life that was happening in south Florida.
That has carried me through the lonely days and nights and pushed me to make a new life here. I still miss my son, my friends and the fun we had but has allowed me to make new friends and a new life.
April 16, 2010 at 4:06 pm
Moderator
You go girl!!
xo,
Steve
April 12, 2010 at 2:54 pm
Tiana Scholl
thanks for sharing Heidi, you did an excellent job in thriving in SoFlo and to provide ample of extra sunshine for all the people who meander into the Heidi Rays of Light!
Picking the next Best thought or a different storyline to what we perceive will take us out off persistent patterns of seeing and reacting.